Sunday, December 2, 2012

left

I am in a weird spot. The key people I have gone to for program stuff or even just a good conversation have one by one lost touch. Fucking straight people and their god damn relationship crap.Since I was in grade school and even to now, my best girl friend disappears when they hook up and settle down. It sucks to have to grieve loses of people not because they died but they morphed into someone else and it's called a couple. I"m mad. I am really really mad. The moment there is trouble they run to me for support and then they get back together and what they said about the other person ceases to be an issue. I wish I could fall in love or some close facsimileing. How nice to be so involved that your friends don't matter and when you do make some time you are an empty version of yourself, like when you have a conversation on the phone with someone who is so not interested in your talk because they are doing something else. This sucks because I was the person that never needed anyone, now here I am, whining because my close friends have moved to another planet where playing house and family is the only language spoken. How do I start all over, there aren't a whole lot of people I find interesting. I've as HP with some guidance on this one because it sucks when the cell phone doesn't ring.

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