Monday, October 25, 2010

surprising compasion.

I am completely astounded at how recovery works when you let it. I got completely crossways with a lady a few months ago in my recovery group. The thought of her made my teeth hurt. I consciously chose to let it go and to see her as someone with a big personality and a mouth to match sometimes. I was steadfast that I could not dislike her because in that room of recovery we depend on each other and she might be the only one that could help me one day.

There was some drama that played out at the group yesterday for which I was not there and was not privy too. She was confronted from what I understand with breaking the traditions which keep the group safe. She responded as a big personality and ego would.

The thing that suprises me and solidifies the merits of the program is I felt compelled to reach out to her and tell her I believed in the integrity of her recovery. She may or may not have broken a tradition, I don't know and frankly don't care. I do care that it was handled very poorly and that she may feel stunned or ashamed as well as majorly pissed.

Being open made my heart open up and relate to the human part of her and I was completely floored when I couldn't not reach out to her.

Compassion surprises and thrills every single time I am flooded with it. It's makes me feel grateful to be alive and grateful I get to make a connection to someones soul for a brief moment.