I forget sometimes when I want to change something about myself or my perspective, just how important it is to expose myself to an array of NEW IDEAS. Hardly any of my old ideas were helpful anymore. It's so important to try something thing different or examine things from a different perspective. If I keep doing the same things over and over I never get anywhere.
Buy a book, watch a program, interview a friend are great ways for me to start building my new existence. Some work and stick, others don't work and fall away.
I just know that if this is my last moment on earth, I don't want to spend it frightened. I want peace more than anything else on the planet, and from the strength of that piece I can then address the issues that keep my fat and want me heavily self medicated. Something I am learning from my Bootcamp Buddies Weight Watchers is that all of us have things in common things like fear, self loathing and the desire to numb ourselves with food. It really was the first drug I found that made me not ache inside.
I'm kind of all over the place here so I am going to shut down and try again tomorrow. I am thankful for everything I have and will share what I have found with anyone who is interested.