Sunday, August 2, 2009

Showing up

I saw a quote by the Julie of "Julie and Julia" and she said the Julia child presented her with unknown doors of possibility. What a great thing to say about someone. I forget how much I love possibilities because my head wants to say, "oh, you have seen this before and this is how it will turn out." I don't use the word miracles much because it is so steeped in religious crap but I have noticed that people who experience one, are looking for it.

I've been sort of half living lately and I am stuck in between wanting different and not figuring out the first step to make it happen. I am going to alaska to see the lights and the dark. I don't expect to be anyone else once I get there, I just want to experience those natural phenoms in more than a tourist way.

I walked past a mirror today and my arm and my elbow caught my attemtion. It was was on of those "YOU R HERE", moments because I actually looked at my arm and thought this is your arm. I've often wondered if I was shown a picture of peoples backs would I reckognize mine. If the hair was covered I 'm not so sure I would recognize myself. I want to be more connected and that begins by paying more attention to my being.

I know some people don't have this "significance" to self and they do great. Sometimes I wish I was one of the folks who don't look for the meaning beneath the chaos, then I think, Jesus Christ that person is boring.