I've had a friend for about 13 years who lives not too far from. He is really my only telephone buddy especially late night. A year and a half ago he lost his must beloved mother then later his only sister. In such a short time I have seen him move people in that he wouldn't have spoken to if they were on the street. He is such a snob but his pain and him not knowing what to do with it has cost him everything. One of the hustlers introduced him to the joys of crack cocaine and he has spent thousands and thousands on street trash and crack.
I made him promise if he didn't have food to let me know. He called and I brought him some food and I was shocked and devasted at his appearance. I didn't know a living human could turn that color of dark moss green and he has lost so much weight I seriously would not have recognized him out in the store or somewhere other than his apt. I didn't stay but a moment he had a "guest" in his bedroom and I just wanted to get the hell out of there. Yesterday him phone was cut off.
He is the fourth friend, who in the 50's found the time to become a crack addict. All four of them also thought they were "in love" with the 20 something that brought the crack into their world.
I can safely say it will never be me because I don't like any stimulant. I won't even take the daytime cold stuff because i hate the amped up feeling. Now, I totally could see me getting hooked on some heavy downer at that age, but I love to sleep now.
The common thread among my friends is that they were so desperately lonely they lowered their standards to find someone anyone to love them.
The friend that lives close to me is the most tender hearted person I ever met though his acid tounge would lead you to believe differently. We all find ways to cover our vulnerability though.
I don't have any nice little wrap up for this post except for it hurts to love a trainweck and that damaged people damage other people, whether they mean to or not.