Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Don't I know that feeling.

Getting to Know you, getting to know all about you

Partly because of the times I grew up in and partly because I am an addict, I prefer things to happen instantly. Getting to know my sponsor and other people in the program takes a lot longer than I wish it did and sometimes if feels so terribly awkward. I've known the young man who is sponsoring me for a while but not well. I was sober when when he was coming in to the AA program and have ran into him on the street a couple times. He is very kind and knows the literature frontwards and backwards, which impresses me. But he has the program running through every fiber of his being which is what I want. He is just a really nice man.

BUT getting to know him and sharing with him on the phone is still uncomfortable. Like I said, really getting to know someone is very very awkward. It feels a little like Helen Keller looked int he movie of her life when she was grasping at thin air and moaning because she couldn't speak, trying desperately to accomplish what she was going for.

I have been trying to learn names. Names are hard for me because I get so socially freaked out I can't remember them. My sponsor wants me to start getting phone numbers at meetings too even if I never call them.