Monday, October 4, 2010

Do you know you"re free and do you know how to make the most of it.

In 1997 I worked for a very short time for an old lady with a 40 year son who had severe CP. It was a miracle that he made it to a teenager and the only reason he did was because of his mother, Melinda. Melinda was a big woman, 6 foot tall and stout, strong stout , not like the "big" ladies clothing store they called a "stout shop". Any way..................

Melinda had dementia. People were always "breaking in the house trying to steal her things" or "Stealing her shoes and clothes and replacing them with ugly ones". At the end of the first couple of weeks I walked around in the yard and saw that she had a dog in a cage. Frail, friendly, so skinny. She had forgotten she had a dog for a while and he was emaciated. I was over come with the desire to set him free while she wasn't in the house. I opened the gate and he didn't know what to do do. I found out later he had spent his entire inside that cage, I got him out and set him on the green fluffy grass and he was like a statue. He went back to his cage and I knew I had to get back in to work. After work, I went straight to the cage , got the dog, put it in my car and brought it home with me. I have a big fence in back yard and I figure I could figure out what to do with the dog while I fattened him up.
Before 2 weeks had past, she had been screwed by every male dog in the tri county.

The reason I was thinking of the story is because I need lessons in how best to utilize my freedom. The freedom that comes from being clean and sober, not being in trouble with the law, and the freedom of being a 42 year old white male in America.

Asking for help is one thing that is hard for me. I have always rather try to figure it out for myself and if it failed, I told no one.

I am so grateful to have a few close friends who get the fact that I need help navigating the waters of freedom, and I am thankful I have two doctors and a Weight Watchers support forum for me to access, poll and utilize.

Do you know that you are free? I love the 3rd or 7th step prayer from AA. I don't like prewritten prayers usually but this one pertains to "Relieving the bondage of self". The pray is a prayer for freedom.

I found a home for the dog and she had two babies.

I am thankful for my training wheels and the people intrusted to help me make most out of being release from the insanity of addiction, just for today.