Something I've known about for a long time and have tried to work on is it isn't easy for me to feel loved. It is super hard for me to receive. I saw that very clearly today in my mother. No matter how clever the tactic to sneak in under her radar and get her to feel loved or appreciated it runs into a block someone. It makes my chest heavy that she is just as unreachable to me as I am by her.
I hope before I leave the planet I can feel love. I know it's possible because when my dog jumps up into my lap he no reservations that his affection might not be accepted and he is completely at ease walking on top of my chest and trying to smell my mouth to see what I have eaten lately..
As kids we are much more open to that or most are. I wasn't I was already guarded by age 3. I like myself sooo much better than I used to. That is step one in feeling love from others. I'm headed in the right direction I just had to stop and gather thoughts. Thank god for dogs and doctors.