Sunday, March 27, 2011

It's been a lovely tearful night

I have a great deal of shame in the fact that I don't have a burning desire for "one more day".  I think about the people I know that have died that fought for one more breath, one more look at their loved ones, one more sunrise or sunset. I don't feel that. I think it would be nice to feel that burning desire for one more day of life but it could be a curse. I'm not depressed or courting death, I just haven't tasted anything in 43 years worth fighting for another 24 hours for.

I haven't lived very much I admit it, I haven't experienced shock and awe. What if I asked to have a leave I would actually hate to leave? What if i focused on creating a life I would actually fight not to leave.

I listened and watched to some great music on PBS tonight and I don't know what it is about the group numbers , but when they all join in with full voice, it makes me weep a weep that could seriously go into full sob. lol