Tuesday, December 11, 2012

seen not heard

Getting close to three years ago when I went into NA, I quickly pointed out to myself the men there that seemed to have something going for them. So I made up this reason to get them all together at once so I could learn from them and become friends. I used the ruse of over 40 and recovering. One guy I wanted to come with us made it clear he was most certainly "NOT, 40"  I heard him use the word "HUBRIS" while sharing and I really wanted to be around him because I have always wanted to use that word in conversation and it never came up for me. I lowered the age limit to 30 and he came on board.

Now, a couple years and a few months we still get together once a month. This happened to me this weekend and it's happened before. I"ll be in the middle of telling a story to the men and I will in the middle of telling it realize that they are all paying attention to me while I speak. It's an overwhelming incident when all the men you admire most have stopped talking and eating and listen to what I have to say. Awesome.

When I was a child, I was raised by one of the asshole fathers who made a big deal about "Children are to be seen and not heard".  The irony of irony is, having no voice as a young kid made me develop a knack for telling a story or making a point clearly and concisely because when you don't get to speak and suddenly you are allowed to, you want to make sure you get your idea or point across ans succinctly as possible and with as much sure footedness as possible. That fucked up out dated idea my dad  had ultimately gave me my super power of verbalizing   my point of view or my ideas. Too bad it didn't make me a better speller or a better proof checker. lol