Wednesday, November 10, 2010


Good morning everyone. I am sort of filled with the possibilities and promise for a brand new day. Sometimes its just very hard for me to remember that I am the author of my own fate. Not a victim. I forget what a powerful spiritual being I am when I get bogged down in diseased up thinking. This is a pep talk to myself and anyone who needs it I guess. If the worse thing anyone can say about me is I am overweight then that is pretty good. My weight issue is one tiny portion of my life and it is not the sole definition of who I am. The disease of addiction makes the addict take everything, good or bad to extremes. Attempting to live your whole life in extremes is brutal. It is rough on your psyche and your heart and your spirit. It also is really rough on the people that love you. Yesterday is over and all we have is the moment we are living in right now. We can't even count on having a "this afternoon". The things I choice to give energy and thought to in this moment are important because as I said, this is all we have. I would hate to know I spent my last moments on earth berating my self and calling myself mean names because I ate too many Hot Tamale Candies. To a large degree I think the seemingly random chit chat in my head dictates the experience I am having. I am very lucky that I have put in enough work and effort to be able to monitor my thoughts as they happen, and that makes yanking the sick ones out before my attitude is affected and my resolve is history. I'm going to have a good day today. I get to be with some people I love and who love me without condition. I'm going to try to eat right and not entertain every negative thought that floats through my grey matter. I feel for myself, that living thoughtfully and actively is more rewarding than when I go through my life as a detached, passive observer.Today I am present, fully clothed and in my right mind. That's pretty good you know.