Monday, April 30, 2012

Things I am suprised at , at 44 years old

I'm surprised that sometimes love isn't enough to keep us together. I'm surprised that the person i need to love and believe in most is myself. I'm surprised that the house you live in means nothing with the ones you love inside. I'm surprised how horribly we treat one another yet claim the lie of religion. I'm surprised that all the people that follow Jesus, forget the most fundamental things of his teaching:   love, compassion and service to others. I'm surprised parents don't know best, it's 50 percent teaching and 50 percent hail Mary pass that the kids can find a way to identify themselves on their own terms. I'm surprised that knowing who you are dictates so much. I'm surprised that people who have it all can crash and burn just as fantastically as they lived they died. I'm surprised that NOTHING I thought about in younger days seems to matter much at all. I'm surprised I can say that my opinion of me matters more that your opinion of me. I'm surprised how much you can hate someone and love them at the same time and the same coin I'm surprised how you cane be disappointed for someone but not IN someone. I'm surprised this is what mid-40's feels like and I am surprised how the body responds slower and with more pain way more often. I'm really surprised at how good it feels to have done your best, acknowledge the flaws but being so thrilled you made the effort. Hell, I'm 44 and I'm surprised.

I'm surprised I lived to see a female and a black man run or president seriously and one of them actually win and I am still soo disappointed that skin color and sexual identity makes a difference. Finally, I am surprised at 44 years on the planet  that people who are in so much fear just end up being mean ole doodooheads.