Tuesday, February 21, 2012

I had a bad night, the kind I haven't had in nearly two years. I tried to go to sleep at midnight , and shortly after I felt like I had an uncomfortable electric current running me. I got up hoping it would stop, then I slept in 5 minute intervals until 4 or so, then I fell asleep just in time for my regular get up Clinton time at 6. I cleared my schedule and went back to bed because I just felt crazy in the head and confused. I slept til 11. The moment my eyes opened up eye heard "It's starting again" and "you shouldn't have said the other day how well you psych issues were going". I do not want to return to not sleeping. It makes living impossible. The night before was off too but nothing like last night and the dreams have been so vivid and horrifying. I got up and worked my ass of cleaning and washing clothes, changed up my bed just trying to go something that makes me feel centered and more like myself. I do not want to return to the misery of not sleeping.  Dammit. I've made it a productive day and it is only 4pm. I hit the ground running, shit I hope this isn't some strange form of mania. I'll keep you posted.