Friday, January 29, 2010

I've been on coast or "slide" for months.

I can't believe how much anger I have trying to come out every which way. Of course I am doing my best to medicate. I just want some of my family members to feel pain. I've been totally sabotaging my dad and step cunt by feeding her information that she had know idea my dad had said.
On the decent human side I know it is not my place to dish out punishment but in the moment it feels fantastic. I'll deal with the aftermath later.

I am absolutely hydroplaning , or driving on ice. There isn't any control really. I'm just have such a seething, brewing anger inside. Anger freaks me out, mine or yours. There isn't any order in it, no control. Crazy.

Frankly I"ve been sooo messed up that trying to figure out what I dreamed, what I imagined and what really has happened in the last few months.