I'm completely disconnected with with the good stuff. I don't feel it today and all week has been me, simply going through the motions. I don't understand where the disconnect is coming through except I have really not been able to do anything but dread speaking tomorrow night at my NA hall. I just can't figure out how to make enough chronological sense about of my life to put it in story form. People seem to have sort of high expectations for me and of course I hate that. I'll go and share about it in the meeting today and then try to start interviewing people in my recovering team to figure out how to reconnect.