I've taken some sort of spiritual or psychic upgrade and I see my life completely different than just two days ago. To a certain exctent I have been acting like there are thinks about my circumstances that can't be changed. So I try to find peace inside these to bumper rails. This isn't it, there is more to come and suddenly changes do not seem as impossible. Do you or I , understand that there are very few things that can't be changed, and those can be adapted. I caught the briefest , quickest glimpse at my possibility and I want more. lol It's a story that has never been told the way my life can tell it. I saw a friend who is quite sick, and their face had the tell tale signs of approaching an exit from this plane, and I was so caught off guard and I was filled with panic, and even my instinct said retreat, I felt my arm reaching forward to caress their face. Even as I type this I have goose bumps. The human side freaked out but my spirit reached to love that face. That is is the crazy part of being a human being. When I had my spiritual experience and my spirit separated from my ego, the spirit directs me most of the time unless I think I am going lose something I have or not get something I want. The human side may get caught up in the awkwardness of fear, but I know what spirit sounds like, and he doesn't sound the same as fear. I love it when I feel god working through me. I used to love the prayer when I was a big AA going, that asked "Make me a vessel". I realize fully today, I'm a spirit having a human experience and I'm grateful that our found my way to to the Source.
The part that reached for my sick friends face, that little connection of spirit, was the thing I tried so hard to kill off. It remained and as hard as I tried, I couldn't break free of it. I couldn't ignore it, I couldn't drink or drug it away. It was my connection to a power greater than me and now I am grateful I didn't get my way.