Thursday, May 16, 2013
It seems like your thoughts and thinking are completely distorted. What you think you know for sure isn't true. Your thoughts and feelings can lie, and I think you are being lied to be them and you don't hear anyone around you telling you what you are perceiving isn't real. Your worth as a spirit on the planet has nothing to do with performance at school or at work. Your here and you matter , end of story. You have to find a way to stop being obsessed with thoughts of yourself and realize there is a whole world out there and be a part of it. I just lost another friend to suicide, a gruesome bloodletting act, it was a waste because when he wasn't consumed with himself, he connected to people easier than anyone I guess I have known. When what your trying to do continually falls short, it may not be you, it may very well be you are trying to portray the life you "think" your suppose to be living instead of living the live you were created by "Creative Intention" to live. When I gave up artistic direction and stepped into the flow rather that fight it out my way, I quit wanting to die, found real compassion for others and mostly I found compassion for myself. It was a profound experience to find out children have to be taught how to be human and I had in essence been trying to create and live an elaborate lie and showing the world who i "THOUGHT i was and was suppose to be". You don't have to spend the rest of your life fighting this hard to go no where. There is ease and flow available. I was happy yesterday from the moment I woke up until I went to bed. I feel like the luckiest bastard in the world most days. I haven't been in a hospital or facility in 3 years, I'm completely off antidepressants for two years and some odd months. I haven't used or drank and everyday I try to challenge myself with new ideas. "An new idea can't be grafted on a closed mind", so I hang with people who are like me, have open minds, new ideas and most importantly I don't sit around and pick out reasons why I am pitiful anymore. "All rivers lead to the Sea". Just find YOUR river and I will meet you at the sea.
Posted by etexman903 at 7:05 AM