I've got a lot of emotion about a quarter inch from the surface today. It almost gets freed but still it remains trapped in a bubble. I finally told my sister I thought she was the most selfish person on earth and that she was a mean mean person. That's as ugly as it got but I didn't see how I could not say anything any longer as she blames my mother for everything going wrong in her life. She thinks it was mother, not 5 years of taking a day off at a time to do drugs, sometimes 5 days in a row.
I finished up with the ammends to my stepmother and I swear, I feel freedom from it already. Today on the way to Longview, right before sunset, I noticed that the tops of trees were drenched in gold from the sun. It made me think of the time I sat at the sonic and watched a field of cane whip in circles because of the wind. I had this sense If I were leaving earth and could view just 10 things to take with me as my last memories on earth. The golden tip tops of the trees washed in the resolve of the sun as it prepared to duck out of sight and those cane I saw dancing in the wind , rhythmically like tall tall thin dancers.
I was struck with the idea that I have looked in the night sky for lights and movement like comets, something to marvel and be in awe and it dawned on me that the stars were enough all their own, they don't have to have a glittering tail blazing across the sky. Today, the stars are enough.