Saturday, September 14, 2013

I'm disappointed in myself over last night for two reasons. The first was a coworker who has frustrated me since she started, was over whelmed with part of her job. She half assed it and I ended up correcting it later that evening when I discovered that she failed to do what was her responsibility to do. I stood there watching her early and I could see that she was in over her head and I got a sick kick, out of seeing her struggle. I made sure the supervisor saw the half ass messed she left, I started getting out of my head and it dawned on me , that my duty has a fellow spirit in human form was to ask if she needed help. Shortly after I made a big stink about it I came to me center and saw that I had really failed to live by spiritual principles. I was very disappointed in myself because I knew better but didn't do better. Next time I hope to lead with the spirit.

The second thing I am disappointed in my self was, I let man I don't like, who has no warmth or charm say something to me  and I let my ego get the best of me. He made a comment to me and I felt momentary rage and I just wanted to show him who he was dealing with, by unleashing a powerful barrage if skillfully chosen put downs and insults. I didn't and 5 minutes after the altercation I am steadily trying to plug in principles and perspective so I would not give over head space to a man I could care less about. It was just ego, and what he told me , he meant to get under my skin. So that tells me, I intimidate him in some fashion.

Sharing compassion, forgiveness and tolerance to those you love is easy and there is no particular growth in that. Choosing to apply spiritual principles to someone u dislike or who is trying to attack you is the real test of your spirituality. lol  My ego has tried to pick this issue back up several times since I woke up but I keep chosing to let it go. Just let it go, "don't give over any of your thought space to this man" because the situation is this is most likely the last weekend I will be working with him.

There is nothing I can do to make him any more miserable than he already is and I don't want to rot in the jail I plan for someone else, because that IS the way life works. I am not my mind, I am not my thoughts, I am a spirit housed in a human form with an ego that wants to believe it is the soul.