Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Sometimes I get a little bummed at myself

To frame this thought up, I saw a picture of a twenty something who wasn't a great hulking beauty of a man but pleasantly average. He had just been cast on a hour long drama in it's 6th year. When I saw his picture I imagined when he figured out what he wanted to do, act, he either didn't have people that discouraged him or he was in tune with himself to the point the just didn't believe them.

Finding out who you are at 40 something is a trip. I am doing work that the majority of my friends did before high school graduation. I absolutely have less amounts of debatable truths than I started out with. I can picture what I want to look like in the second act, and I know how I want to feel and finish up. The rest I am following the inner directive of spirit and I'm not up for debate this go around.

I can be anything I really want to be, life is creation in motion, not retraction and paralysis.

If I had a chance to live the past differently, I would play with more dolls, and not in closet. I would cry and feel no shame when they called me names and when I was told I needed to be tougher and stronger, I would tell them some boys aren't. And that is OK.