Friday, May 17, 2013

I'm oddly lonesome tonight. Myfriend that I have talked nightly to for over a year has taken this chick back in. Even when I talk to him, I am not talking to my friend, I am talking to a less real version of him.  Being the one who has been terminally single except for 2 years in the 80's, I hate when close friends "hook up" and suddenly they aren't available to me. I've had 50 good girlfriends get their man and family they hunted for. This is the first male that has done this. He's the first real male friend I've had. Definately the closest straight male I ever had. I feel compassion for him. It doesn't look like to me that this is going to be the thing he is looking for but that is my judgment. I'm going to work on being less judgmental about everything. 

I had a good day of being IN my body.  I was fully present all day and went to the gym twice in order to get both weight and cardio done. I left after weights to catch a meeting at noon. It was a fantastic meeting and it really brought a simple idea to me. In step do, I actually come to meetings so I can believe. I literally come to believe.

Working Sat and Sun and looking forward to seeing what that boys in the treatment center are doing this weekend. I hope I have something to give them.