Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Into the second week of what I assume (assume) is long awaited return of some depression.  It's been close to three years since I had any depression and the thing I noticed today is what a hideous uphill battle to even get to the fridge for a coke. The gym was hard but I finished my little routine. I went to the store and that glass wall was back  between me other the other land dwellers. I don't plan on surrendering to it any time soon, but to experience it with a clean and present mind is a real trip. I felt like this for years and didn't know any different. I often think of the scene where Robin Williams goes to hell to bring his wife back, and the caveat is, the longer he stays there the more he will forget there is any thing different to feel.  I think there are a bunch of things I could surrender to that in no time, I would forget there was any other way be. I know lots of lost folks. I guessing permanently lost.