Thursday, August 1, 2013

Great Essay on DEPRESSION

I found this on another blog, it's good

This is long, but if you have ever had clinical depression you will agree, it is spot ON.

"Depression is humiliating. It turns intelligent, kind people into zombies who can’t wash a dish or change their socks. It affects the ability to think clearly, to feel anything, to ascribe value to your children, your lifelong passions, your relative good fortune. It scoops out your normal healthy ability to cope with bad days and bad news, and replaces it with an unrecognizable sludge that finds no pleasure, no delight, no point in anything outside of bed. You alienate your friends because you can’t comport yourself socially, you risk your job because you can’t concentrate, you live in moderate squalor because you have no energy to stand up, let alone take out the garbage. You become pathetic and you know it. And you have no capacity to stop the downward plunge. You have no perspective, no emotional reserves, no faith that it will get better. So you feel guilty and ashamed of your inability to deal with life like a regular human, which exacerbates the depression and the isolation.
Depression is humiliating.
If you’ve never been depressed, thank your lucky stars and back off the folks who take a pill so they can make eye contact with the grocery store cashier. No one on earth would choose the nightmare of depression over an averagely turbulent normal life.
It’s not an incapacity to cope with day to day living in the modern world. It’s an incapacity to function. At all. If you and your loved ones have been spared, every blessing to you. If depression has taken root in you or your loved ones, every blessing to you, too.
Depression is humiliating.
No one chooses it. No one deserves it. It runs in families, it ruins families. You cannot imagine what it takes to feign normalcy, to show up to work, to make a dentist appointment, to pay bills, to walk your dog, to return library books on time, to keep enough toilet paper on hand, when you are exerting most of your capacity on trying not to kill yourself. Depression is real. Just because you’ve never had it doesn’t make it imaginary. Compassion is also real. And a depressed person may cling desperately to it until they are out of the woods and they may remember your compassion for the rest of their lives as a force greater than their depression. Have a heart. Judge not lest ye be judged."

Catch up

I can believe I haven't updated in 2 or three months. Still trying to get it right. Still clean, still centered and still working. I must confess much of the stuff I usually would blog here about ends up on Facebook instead. It's summer and it's my least fav. time of the year usually. The heat in Texas is usually misery for me, but I guess being 85 pounds lighter makes the summers a little less oppressive.

Random Thoughts

I heard someone talking about a book called "Who Moved My Cheese" and specifically they mentioned people who are "Injustice Collectors".  It made me think about my sister.. She is the most blame assigining person i have ever been around. Nothing is her fault and if you stand still long enough she will find some blame for you. Aggravating.

There are times when I know for sure that I am spiritually centered and living less in ego. My sister left town to take a job in Houston . I was at first glad to get a brake from her drug use and denial, but now I'm just worried that Houston will eat her alive. Dallas wasn't a place for me when I was diseased up with addiction and low self esteem. I don't think Houston will be good for her for those reasons too.

I asked the question on Facebook the other day. "When was the last time you changed your mind about something".  For me when I have a change of stance, I know that I am teachable. I come from a long line of folks who believe once you make up your mind about something, never question it again. When my position changes on ideas or people, it makes me feel good. Open Mindedness. I can entertain a new idea without necessary having to accept it. It's possible though.