Thursday, May 5, 2011

I had a great moment today of seeing who I am and who I want to be.

There is a "recovery house" that visits the noon meeting at my hall in Longview several days of the week. It's partly where the county houses people with mental issues while they adjust to life on meds and part the place the state hospital sticks people when they need to empty a bed. There was an older black guy who came in and sat next to me and he was besotted with the problem many of the house residents have. He was sleepy. Very sleepy. I suspected his meds were kicking his ass but it could be just detox. A guy from his house  brought him a cup of coffee with cream. I was listening to someone share when I heard a liquid splat next to me. He had nodded off and dropped the full cup of coffee. I felt so sorry for him, his first meeting , new surroundings and now a full cup of coffee pooled between his legs. I flew up and got the mop and paper towels and told him "I"ll take care of this. He quietly asked for a paper towel to use on his jeans. The warm feeling i get from taking care of another human who is less than at there best is as good as any drug. I was so overwhelmed by my emotions tapping into his, I had to take a moment behind the locked door of the bathroom. I felt for a split second I could cry forever. I didn't even get his name but his presence today reminded me, that I was human. Not only that, I was a human with terrific capacity to love strangers and help them take care of needs they don't have the capacity for taking care of themselves.

It goes along with me talking the other night about the paradoxes we often mention. My favorite is the break I give you in good speed, in turns allows me to give me self one and faster. Is it possible that the reason the way I treat you so instantly comes back to me, is there is no separation between us all. We are all one spirit but believe we are separate because we think the body is who we are?

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