Tuesday, February 22, 2011
You know, I was present for a radical shift in thought and perspective. I don't remember exactly where I was but I remember the awe of realizing, OH< I can't take pills. I can't take just one pill, it is impossible for me to take "a few" from a new script and have any left by morning". This new understanding took place while I was in the company of 2 people who were just like me. It was so fantastic to identify with them on such a level of breathing , living comprehension. There was something that looked like a pill under the table in the group room at the hospital and I looked at it and mentioned to my friend Wanda, "You know that looks like a pill underneath the edge of that table. She turned to me and said "It's a piece of paper and I thought the same thing til I finally got up and looked." We understood each other in that moment and it was funny and warm and I knew for the first time, I wasn't alone. I'm an addict , my first response may always be, "cool, a pill" but with a sponsor, some days clean, 12 steps and the amazing freedom to find a power greater than myself, my action regarding that pill is to "pass it by." I'm not confounded or befuddled regarding my addiction. I found A WAY OUT I'm not on the outside looking in to my own life, as a narrator in a movie or play. My favorite sentence in all the literature is "We could no longer live as humans, with or without drugs. When I heard that sentence from the reading "We do Recover" I was changed from a patient attending a mandatory NA meeting to a full fledged willing member of Narcotics Anonymous.
Posted by etexman903 at 2:16 PM