Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Starting again and I have some stories to tell.

When I was sober for a few years, I started having full blown panic attacks. I didn't know what was happening to me and 4 or 5 times I went to the E/R after I had washed the dished and hidden the porn stash. The first few times their I was assured I wasn't having a heart attack, just anxiety. The treatment for me was that I was given a small blue pill. (not viagra). The doctor doing his job, inadvertantly  introduced me to the drug that would cause me so many problems for the next  9 years. ' As I try to figure out how I got here from there and lived to tell is what I plan on focusing on for the next few days.

I can say, I am clean and sober and really quite happy. The dividing line from now and 2 weeks ago is the new title for my future biography. NO PILLS!  Really that is no pills that are any fun anyway. One really is to many and a thousand really isn't enough.

So, I'm a pill loving alcoholic with bipolar disorder, major depression and an anxiety disorder. I love the fact that sentence alone qualifies me to speak at least 11 different kinds of recovery groups. lol I'm not in the writing mood at the moment but I wanted to let the blog know I was back. It can quit leaving those nasty messages on my voicemail now. lol.

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