Some of were talking about Rusty's suicide after the meeting at noon today and I shared with them that it has been my obsveration that it is completely possible for a human to get so lost, the kindest thing the universe can do is allow them an exit. I've known people who tried to kill themselves, serious tries a half a dozen times and failed, then one more try and they make exit. My understanding is the universe is ultimately so compassionate that it knows when a human has reached the point where they are unable to dig themselves out of the chaos and pain. I think Rusty was granted one of those exit spots. Something that happened to me that never happened to Rusty was I had opportunity to remember who I was. When I caught a glimpse of who I came to the earth being, it was harder to hold onto the painful misconceptions I was fed or misgathered myself. This kid's pic moves me to pieces. The tiny clasp hands and the dazed look on his face that says, I'm just going to have to depend on you to help me out". I still have him inside me, and it's ok not to know, it's ok to trust others to help. I'd love to hold that kid and kiss him a big one on his head. He looks like the runt of the litter and I am and have always been drawn to the runt. I am at my best, my god centered best in the company of misfits and outcast. Those that have fallen through the cracks are my people.