Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Holy Hell it's been a long time since I just put a regular post into the mix. As of today, I have lost 63 pounds using the old Weight Watcher Point system.  I've joined a gym and have went every single day. The only thing I have ignored there are some sit up/ crunch things that I think I don't know how to do correctly. A lady showed me and it confused me more. It's awful that when I am uncertain about something I am to shamed to ask for more direction. Tomorrow I will find the dude and ask him to show me again. The weight stuff is actually the easiest thing there. Getting on a treadmill and knowing you have to stay on their for X number of minutes is hard. Boredom for me causes me to want to run and hide or come undone. I don't know if I am ever going to be ok with doing nothing for long periods of time without panicking   Again, it is my inability to live in the present moment that trips me up. I kept trying to center and breath today and the time went much easier on the walker. Be HERE NOW. Fully embody the moment I am in.

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