Saturday, March 19, 2011

identification not assimilation.

Who the hell are you? I was getting out of the car at Walmart and the really nice SUV was covered in bumper stickers "GETTING HIS POINT ACROSS"on every topic. It just struck me as odd the things we choose to provide us with an identity and then be able to not grow, change or take on any new ideas because, "NOpe", "already know who I am"- see my tee shirt and bumper stickers tell me everyday who I am and what things matter". I mentioned this a couple of weeks ago that it is so common for our brains to believe they are our spirits or essences. The spirit directs and dictates who we are not the reverse.
So after I got through keying the shit out of his dumb ass Rick Perry stickers, I signed it love, 2.0 . That part is a joke but look around at what people claim for identities for themselves.

Next time you are at a stoplight look around and see, "Aggies Mom, Honor students grandma, Democrat, republican , Libertarian, Cowboy fan, etc. .......

Today because of years of therapy and lot's of 12 step times, halls and a variety of types, I know a few things about who I am today and it is information that is spirit based. I'm doing much better in not letting you tell me who I am, or my mom or one really pushy friend I have. It's a cheesy saying but, this isn't a dress rehearsal, I don't want to spend one more moment being someone that isn't me and frankly I don't like.

So my question to you, once again is "who the hell do you think YOU The hope the program offered me first was the fact, the understand that I was not the sum of all my fuck ups . I was more than an unfortunate score card of addiction and blinding failures in attempts to live a life on the planet earth.

I also have the privilege of sharing who i am with you not trying to conform to what I think you need me to be in order to like me. There is a huge difference in being in my life and being a part of my life. I hope for the same reciprocity with people that don't care for me in the hall but live along side me in the 12 step hall.

I'm not a mood ring from the 70's waiting to be told how I feel and what color I should be at any given moment and it makes me so look forward to more. More will be revealed and WE DO RECOVER.

NA is a process of identification not assimilation.


Katie said...

Wow..powerful post, Clinton.

Clinton Gandy said...

I'm so thankful that the stuff , the business of being human and my time on the planet can relate to you Katie. It's amazing what one person you barely know and have never seen in person can do for you sense of self. "I understand" are two magical words that make us all walk taller.