the war of bad messages and food as medication

Any ground won, is won only for the day. There is not one thing wrong with my life today that 4 doughnuts or a bag a fix will fix. I'm changing the way I eat in part because I want to treat myself like someone I like or even love. My overeating will always be an issue I have to stay alert for. When I reach for something in the fridge to make me feel better or different, I'm reaching for a lie. The lie being that anything outside my self has the ability to fill the void inside where only the love of others and a power greater than myself can fill. Food is a very poor substitute for love, affection , intimacy and it quit working for me in the 3rd grade. I am almost 45 so I have used a broken coping tool for way to long. What if the voice in my head is wrong. What if I am enough and what if people will really love me for me. I've toted around a sack of lies, communication and pain from never feeling like I am good enough to love, as long as I can. I just have to stay aware and monitor the chatter in my head so when I feel the impulse to over eat, I can stop myself in mid-thought and make a healthier choice for myself.