As much talk as made about being yourself and being and individual every time I turn around someone is offering me up another label to slip on. Like a girl scout that can't resist a good merit badge for herself, we just keep labeling ourselves.
I don't believe in the same understanding of god that my cohorts do, yet I am NOT an atheist and I am not agnostic. Frankly and thankfully there isn't a word for my understanding. I know someone who is neither gay nor straight but wouldn't say she was bisexual either. We like to find our niches and others love to know what cubby in the shadow box to place us.
In Longview you are either a Lobo or the other one. Democrat, Rebublican, Libertarian seriously why would anyone want to claim one of those labels they are all pretty vile most of the time.
Good or bad. Things can exist and stand alone just fine without calling them good or bad because with our very short term vision, we don't know ultimately if the "good" with turn on us and the "bad" eventually save our asses.
I'm in a program that is about opening me up to an existance that is larger than labels. We in the program are in perpetual change and evolution. Something you might say I am or even I might think I am, may only be near the truth for a moment before I evolve.
Forest fires started by lightening look bad, but nature needs them to cleanse and start over. So they are neither bad or good. A young guy overdoses, goes to the ER, and is shipped off to a psych hospital. He get's introduced to a program that revolutionizes his way of life and he helps others do the same.
I am just going to practice the art , the fine art of "JUST BEING", no labels or judgement. Just for today and see what happens. I am neither a tragedy or a triumph, I am just a rather enigmatic fellow trying real hard to feel worthy of the breath I snatch and also tries real hard to be a positive impact on others.
I do see others who are able to get behind a label and work with it. They tap into an identity by being a part of something bigger than them. Remember when Saturn Cars had the Saturn Club for members to talk about how the "LUV their Saturns"? What I have found out me myself is , it is more important for my soul or spirit to identify that you to.
I would like to say the other way certainly looks easier from where I stand, but it never worked for me. I've never met a label that satisfied me for longer than a minute.
If Chanel or Prada or Ralph Lauren labels could change you and make you happy, we wouldn't have the number of Lindsay Lohans and Charlie Sheen's publicly spirally into madness.
I've even seen people in twelve steps programs get lost in the label of alcoholic or addict to the point they never really tried to live a big life outside the rooms.
Labels are deadly for me. If it fits, I slack off , if it hurts, I want to medicate the pain. BEING is freer and BEING is easier. Fuck the labels.
