You get what u need.

Today was the first day, the first real day I was obsessed with food. From the moment I woke up my head was trying to write recipes for the day. I had to pull out all the stops but I managed not to reach for food as medicine for a bum attitude. Getting through the day without cratering to my obsessive thoughts means more to me than the fact I am coming in UNDER  my point block. Another matter to throw me off, all the fruit I like to eat has a high acidic level and my tongue is sort of blistered. I have a points for after dinner food and then I am going to bed. I"m going to try to journal/blog a bit and maybe get myself more centered, as the great 70's diet book says, "It's what eating you, not what you are eating". lol  I also think I have a skewed image in my head at what roughly 2 months looks like and I am not coming up the the imaginary level of loss I believe exist.  I am very thankful this is in fact far from my first trip to the rodeo and I do know a little more this time, mostly I know , if you keep doing what you have been doing, you're gonna keep getting what you already had and didn't want. I don't want to go backwards, so i commit to learning to live with going forward and feeling awkward. You dig?